Strangely, I have not become pessimistic about my health.
What weighs on me far more is the work that has fallen behind.
I find myself blaming myself for it.
That, too, feels strange.
It could be called responsibility.
It sounds respectable.
Sometimes I wonder how easy life would be if I could simply put it all down and say, “I don’t care anymore.”
There is something I think of as duty.
It keeps pulling me back.
Part of me wants to let it go.
Another part does not.