Comparison

The swelling around my lymph nodes has not gone away.

Sitting is still uncomfortable.

And yet I find that I am coping better than I expected.

Why?

Then I remembered.

During my stay in the hospital, I had a tube inserted, and sitting was far more difficult than it is now.

Without realizing it, I had been comparing today with those days.

The comparison brought a certain sense of relief.

There is nothing wrong with that.

Still, I have also begun to notice moments when I no longer need to compare anything at all.

Those moments feel quieter.

Somehow, they feel closer to what is true.